REVERB #3 & #4

December 5 – Let Go. What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why?

I am feeling particularly grumpy today. Feeling like I should probably read, write, and exercise to get my mood going.

I had to let go of a lot of things this last year. It's kinda ridiculous. I tried really hard to let go of drama or my hurt feelings. I created my first two modern pieces and I love them dearly. The first was exactly what I wanted, it was weird and explored a movement vocabulary I didn't know I had. The second was a problem for a long while. I had to work really hard to not let my higher up get to me. She made me feel like it was awful the whole time I created it. She kept saying things that made me think I could never finish it and it would never be good enough. I was offered no constructive feedback and was forced to figure out everything on my own. In the end, it was pretty good, I believe if I wouldn't have been so stressed about it, I would have created a piece with higher quality choreography. Anyways, I really had to let her words go and let go of my inner fighting thoughts and just creating what I could.

I also obviously, had to let go of my bestest friend and the person I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with. It was brutal at first, I didn't really know what to do without him, but I have found that I am much better off without him. Though, I do hope that some day (far far away) we can be friends again.

I also had to let go of my perceptions of my sister. I found out a lot about her this year, she is going through some tough stuff, and I hope that she can get happy & healthy so we can get to know each other...


This is kind of a downer... maybe I need to write about something else...


December 8 – Beautifully Different. Think about what makes you different and what you do that lights people up. Reflect on all the things that make you different – you’ll find they’re what make you beautiful.

I need to talk about myself in a positive way. Maybe this will cheer me up :D

My brain always comes up with the most awkward and weird thoughts. This makes me feel unique because of the reactions I often receive. I enjoy being different, I think most people aspire to be different, it's fun. Erica still always makes fun of me because when she was pregnant, I asked her if she thought people thought we were lesbians having a baby. Obviously, no one actually thought that, and that's probably why Erica looked at me in the weirdest way and laughed hysterically. She still brings it up, I am embarrassed that I said something that off but it makes for a good story now. I guess this also goes along with my choreography. I loved challenging people in Orchesis and we had a lot of fun with my random crazy movement. I love you brain. :D



(Don't let this picture fool you. I love babies and I am not violent. I just love being silly and playing with Erica.)

I think I also have a pretty great sense of humor. I have found people in my life, that think the same way I do and I love how funny we all are. I love making people happy, and I specifically love making people laugh.

Sometimes I can be too honest. I used to get yelled at for it, I would make people feel uncomfortable, but really we all need a little honesty. I rarely get praised for it, but the few times make it worth it.

I also like wearing weird clothes. Or I used to, I've sort of pulled out of the weird to more layered and random? I think it does affect the way people see me and it does "light them up." I have a secret to share... every time I have been dumped, the boys always bring up how they love my clothes and/or style. Perhaps, it shows some confidence in myself? I think it's the weirdest thing ever. I have also gotten while I am dating, does anyone else get that? Do boys actually care about clothing? Well, the ones I know do. lol.