LOVEn Ash, Kelli & Brooke

In the last year, I have been to Utah twice. Both times, after leaving, I have found my heart feeling full and every ounce of sadness that was in my body evaporated. So many of these friends live in a way that I totally respect and admire.

I love that ashley doesn't have cable.

I love how important family is to all of these friends.

I love that I always learn something new around these girls.

I love how brooke and ashley are the scariest drivers in the world.

I love how I feel comfortable, confident, and loved around my ex Washington friends.

I even like myself more when in Utah. Something that I should be feeling here in Ellensburg...

To live would be an awful big adventure.

I now have the opportunity to be as selfish as I want to and I've come up with a few ideas to spend my selfish time wisely.

1. I want to take Guitar lessons.
2. I would like to visit my sisters in San Diego and go to Disneyland.
3. I would like to visit my friends! Amy in Oregon; Lyle, Sean and LBS in Bellingham; my Utah/Boise ladies etc.
4. I want to go ziplining and skydiving.
5. I want to take Trixie Lane's burlesque kindergarten class and perform with confidence.
6. I want to visit the Harry Potter Theme Park
7. I would like to spend part of Spring of next year traveling in Europe and Asia.
8.I want to exercise in some form every day! Yoga twice a week, Run/Cardio 3x/week, Strength 3x/week!!
9. Take a pie making class at CJ's Deli and other cooking classes.
10. Work on my leg sleeve.
11. I want to take a boxing class.


EDIT: Half marathon is so not happening. I have now completed 2 and part of 3. YAY!

Caring is a Curse

It is so very painful to watch terrible things happen to your friends and be unable to help.

40 Seconds

I never understood that I could be so connected to 40 seconds.

I auditioned for my piece this week, which is very near and dear to me and after, the head of the dance department told me she was disappointed as the piece didn't turn out as expected. I feel very hurt because I'm putting myself out there and being very personal with this piece. This is about my grief with my Hailey and I don't believe anyone has a right to tell me that I'm doing anything wrong.

The two eight counts I did for auditions, were out of context and possibly did look a little jazzy. I understand, but what I don't get is why they didn't just ask me how the rest of the dance was coming along. I'm also quite angry they threatened to kick my piece out because of two stupid eight-counts that weren't "what they expected."

While this was all going on, a bunch of girls were sitting in front of the window of where I was crying and discussing this whole ordeal with the heads. The girls outside were then discussing whether they would give up their spots to choreograph for me. One girl actually did, but my piece was never actually cut. Now I feel a great deal of guilt about that.

Maybe I need to be in this tortured state to choreograph.

The lazy boredom disease.

I wish to be with someone right now, but that would require moving. I might actually have to put on real people clothes, apply make up, or heaven forbid, go outside. This would mean that I would spend thirty minutes getting ready and then driving 20 minutes to an hour to be with said friend. This would then be followed by a lengthly debate for 15 to 30 minutes about what we should do for the evening.

This is why I love Ian. Ian takes no effort whatsoever and I usually just have to roll over to my right to have a friend.

Oh friends, can't we all just hang out in our pjs watching tv? Can't we be stinky and eat all of the fudge and cookies my mom just made?

I disgust myself. Maybe this is just a winter thing? Why must I be so lazy? I need some motivation!

I AM BORED.

I hope you all will come see it...

I got most of my dance out today. It's not exactly where I want it but I have a feeling it's going to turn out wonderfully. I just wish the girls would really get it. We still have six months but being my first dance I want it to be perfect.

I'm playing with the idea of having people act out a cheesy silent film scene in the first 20 seconds.

I should probably be documenting the dance...I need a video camera! :D

At least it's not the flu.

My left side of my nose is clogged. The right side burns when I breathe.
My throat is dry.
I got a brain freeze earlier today, the sensation stuck and my head is freezing. It's been eight hours.

Vitamin C, NyQuil, Nasal Decongestant. Please save me.